From the first day I arrived in India, something Ancient in me reawakened.
Each day the constructs I had created of "who I was" up until that point melted away—layer after layer.
Replacing it was the "Who" I had been for many lives there.
I felt an attraction, even a strong urge, to wear certain tilak (forehead markings) in a particular way,
to acquire certain malas, rudraksha and tiger claws
and to get to the Shmashana as soon as I could.
All of these things were associated with a certain sect of sadhus that was uncommon
No one told me these things, I hadn't read about them and I certainly had no idea about the sect
...only later did I find out what it all meant.
After my witnessing my first cremation at the Shamshan Ghat just above Har-Ki-Pauri in Hardwar,
Who I was in the past came exploded to the surface.
My whole being burned with Intense Fiery Truth.
An old woman had been brought in. After purifying her in MAA Ganga, and repeating certain mantras,
they brought her over to the pyre and removed the shawl that was covering her.
She looked like she was simply sleeping...peacefully
Even though I knew she was dead, something in me said "maybe she is just sleeping."
As they wiped ghee on her face and body I thought, "Wow. Maybe they shouldn't do that. Maybe she isn't really dead."
As they poured the samagri (dried fragrant herbs) on her, repeating their ritual mantras, inside I cringed further.
Then they piled the wood higher on top of her body, completely covering her. "I really hope she's dead", I thought.
Then they circled her three times with a lit bunch of kindling and lit the pyre.
As the flame expanded to cover the whole pyre I said to myself
"Yeah, she's dead."
"And if she wasn't before, she certainly is now", I chuckled.
Something in me changed dramatically right then and there.
A switch went off. I went into a deep altered state.
I felt pulled to a spot right next to the pyre I was watching currently, where a body had been freshly cremated a few hours earlier.
The ashes were still warm to the touch, as I dove my hands into them and covered my body wth them.
I then sat down next to the burning pyre and stayed there watching the wood and her body dissolve for the next couple of hours,
until there was nothing left but ashes, a few vertebrae, and a small pieces of bone and charred flesh here and there that a few dogs picked through.
As I felt my work for that day was done, I rose and started walking towards the entrance to the Shmashan.
I looked down and saw a scorched black bamboo lying on the ground. It felt like "mine".
I asked the Dom (Cremation worker) there, "OK, I take?" He said, "OK, Baba. You take."
It was a bamboo that had been used to carry countless dead bodies into the Smashan.
I had already thought to myself earlier that day that I should have some kind of walking staff
and so of course, Divine Mother satisfied my innocent desire in a most meaningful way.
There was so much "Jnana Dhristhi" (Gaze of Intense Truth) coming out of my eyes,
as I approached the rickshaw driver who had brought me there
and had waited patiently to get me back in his rickshaw and attempt to overcharge me once again..
But when I approached him and said "Har-Ki-Pauri chelo" (Let's go to Har-Ki-Pauri)
He replied, "No, Baba, no. Please Baba no." and refused to take me back in his rickshaw.
I repeated myself several time, but to my amazement he replied each time with folded hands, "No, Baba, no. Please Baba no."
Now since when does a rickshaw driver in India turn down a white man's money? HAHAHA!
I was just too "on fire" and showing an "Aghori Baba" face,
which is feared and really the fringe of the fringe.
So I walked back to Hardwar, remaining totally absorbed.
Words fail to describe how I felt.
As I passed by Babas at their dhunis, they all cried out to me
"AUM NAMO NARAYAN! AUM NAMAH SHIVAYA!"
and waved for me to join them.
I cried out the same back to them, offered them Namaskars, but kept walking.
I remained pretty far out there, in a dramatically altered state, for quite some time.
Each day the constructs I had created of "who I was" up until that point melted away—layer after layer.
Replacing it was the "Who" I had been for many lives there.
I felt an attraction, even a strong urge, to wear certain tilak (forehead markings) in a particular way,
to acquire certain malas, rudraksha and tiger claws
and to get to the Shmashana as soon as I could.
All of these things were associated with a certain sect of sadhus that was uncommon
No one told me these things, I hadn't read about them and I certainly had no idea about the sect
...only later did I find out what it all meant.
After my witnessing my first cremation at the Shamshan Ghat just above Har-Ki-Pauri in Hardwar,
Who I was in the past came exploded to the surface.
My whole being burned with Intense Fiery Truth.
An old woman had been brought in. After purifying her in MAA Ganga, and repeating certain mantras,
they brought her over to the pyre and removed the shawl that was covering her.
She looked like she was simply sleeping...peacefully
Even though I knew she was dead, something in me said "maybe she is just sleeping."
As they wiped ghee on her face and body I thought, "Wow. Maybe they shouldn't do that. Maybe she isn't really dead."
As they poured the samagri (dried fragrant herbs) on her, repeating their ritual mantras, inside I cringed further.
Then they piled the wood higher on top of her body, completely covering her. "I really hope she's dead", I thought.
Then they circled her three times with a lit bunch of kindling and lit the pyre.
As the flame expanded to cover the whole pyre I said to myself
"Yeah, she's dead."
"And if she wasn't before, she certainly is now", I chuckled.
Something in me changed dramatically right then and there.
A switch went off. I went into a deep altered state.
I felt pulled to a spot right next to the pyre I was watching currently, where a body had been freshly cremated a few hours earlier.
The ashes were still warm to the touch, as I dove my hands into them and covered my body wth them.
I then sat down next to the burning pyre and stayed there watching the wood and her body dissolve for the next couple of hours,
until there was nothing left but ashes, a few vertebrae, and a small pieces of bone and charred flesh here and there that a few dogs picked through.
As I felt my work for that day was done, I rose and started walking towards the entrance to the Shmashan.
I looked down and saw a scorched black bamboo lying on the ground. It felt like "mine".
I asked the Dom (Cremation worker) there, "OK, I take?" He said, "OK, Baba. You take."
It was a bamboo that had been used to carry countless dead bodies into the Smashan.
I had already thought to myself earlier that day that I should have some kind of walking staff
and so of course, Divine Mother satisfied my innocent desire in a most meaningful way.
There was so much "Jnana Dhristhi" (Gaze of Intense Truth) coming out of my eyes,
as I approached the rickshaw driver who had brought me there
and had waited patiently to get me back in his rickshaw and attempt to overcharge me once again..
But when I approached him and said "Har-Ki-Pauri chelo" (Let's go to Har-Ki-Pauri)
He replied, "No, Baba, no. Please Baba no." and refused to take me back in his rickshaw.
I repeated myself several time, but to my amazement he replied each time with folded hands, "No, Baba, no. Please Baba no."
Now since when does a rickshaw driver in India turn down a white man's money? HAHAHA!
I was just too "on fire" and showing an "Aghori Baba" face,
which is feared and really the fringe of the fringe.
So I walked back to Hardwar, remaining totally absorbed.
Words fail to describe how I felt.
As I passed by Babas at their dhunis, they all cried out to me
"AUM NAMO NARAYAN! AUM NAMAH SHIVAYA!"
and waved for me to join them.
I cried out the same back to them, offered them Namaskars, but kept walking.
I remained pretty far out there, in a dramatically altered state, for quite some time.
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Shortly thereafter I decided I would make my way to Kashi, the inner and oldest part of Varanasi, the oldest city
and more specifically to Manikarnika Ghat where the Maha Shmashana of the world resides.
Manikarnika is a Shakti Peeth, a place of Divine Mother's Body and Energy,
where Sati's earring fell and Shiva dwelt in deep meditation afterwards.
Or where Shiva's earring fell and where Vishnu did Tapas (Austerities) to obtain His Blessing.
There are quite a number of intricate, entralling legends.
I will devote a whole page to Manikarnika and mention a bit more about it on the Retreat page.
Bodies are burning there 24/7 ,
turning back into the Earth element from whence they came.
I laid out my asan and sat firmly, upright, spine straight,
all night, each night, close to each Fire
that was consuming what was once a living human body.
I covered myself in the vibhuti ashes of a freshly cremated body,
as I looked with Intent to Really See....
to see what was the body and what was not the body,
determined to sit as long as it took.
I performed various acts of puja worship to Parashakti Maa And Shiva Babaji
gazing with focus while each body's skin melted off...its muscles cooked...its limbs fell off...its organs burst...
culminating in the Dom cracking its skull open...pouring the fatty tissue of the brain onto the fire, blazing it devouringly higher,
finally releasing the Spirit back home through the Brahmarandhra
the Hole of Brahma, the 10th door, opening at the Crown of the head,
connecting the individual consciousness to the Cosmic Consciousness.
Sometimes I took this sacred work of the Dom unto myself...no one objected.
As the vairagya of the Maha Shmashan engulfed my Being,
the Fires of The Smashan burned me down to the core.
I could no longer recognize myself in the mirror;
I "got it" in a way that was so deep within me that no words could touch or describe it.
All I could do then was laugh and Laugh and Laugh for hours on end!
I have never been the same since, nor will I ever be again!
JAI SHMASHANA KALIKA KALI MAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!
I know that you can also have this same type of experience
if you are willing to do what I did in the Maha Shmashan.
I won't promise you "Enlightenment"
but I do promise to guide you through an Enlightening Experience
that will change you down to the depths of your Soul...forever.
If this is what you desperately desire,
if my own story inspire you and touches something deep stirring inside you,
If you are truly ready and don't want to waste another precious moment to answer your Soul's yearning,
to know your Self and the Truth of Reality more deeply than ever before,
then you are welcome and encouraged to apply to join me
on a Transformational Intensive Retreat in the Shmashan
and let your Spiritual Destiny finally unfold...
JOYA MAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!
and more specifically to Manikarnika Ghat where the Maha Shmashana of the world resides.
Manikarnika is a Shakti Peeth, a place of Divine Mother's Body and Energy,
where Sati's earring fell and Shiva dwelt in deep meditation afterwards.
Or where Shiva's earring fell and where Vishnu did Tapas (Austerities) to obtain His Blessing.
There are quite a number of intricate, entralling legends.
I will devote a whole page to Manikarnika and mention a bit more about it on the Retreat page.
Bodies are burning there 24/7 ,
turning back into the Earth element from whence they came.
I laid out my asan and sat firmly, upright, spine straight,
all night, each night, close to each Fire
that was consuming what was once a living human body.
I covered myself in the vibhuti ashes of a freshly cremated body,
as I looked with Intent to Really See....
to see what was the body and what was not the body,
determined to sit as long as it took.
I performed various acts of puja worship to Parashakti Maa And Shiva Babaji
gazing with focus while each body's skin melted off...its muscles cooked...its limbs fell off...its organs burst...
culminating in the Dom cracking its skull open...pouring the fatty tissue of the brain onto the fire, blazing it devouringly higher,
finally releasing the Spirit back home through the Brahmarandhra
the Hole of Brahma, the 10th door, opening at the Crown of the head,
connecting the individual consciousness to the Cosmic Consciousness.
Sometimes I took this sacred work of the Dom unto myself...no one objected.
As the vairagya of the Maha Shmashan engulfed my Being,
the Fires of The Smashan burned me down to the core.
I could no longer recognize myself in the mirror;
I "got it" in a way that was so deep within me that no words could touch or describe it.
All I could do then was laugh and Laugh and Laugh for hours on end!
I have never been the same since, nor will I ever be again!
JAI SHMASHANA KALIKA KALI MAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!
I know that you can also have this same type of experience
if you are willing to do what I did in the Maha Shmashan.
I won't promise you "Enlightenment"
but I do promise to guide you through an Enlightening Experience
that will change you down to the depths of your Soul...forever.
If this is what you desperately desire,
if my own story inspire you and touches something deep stirring inside you,
If you are truly ready and don't want to waste another precious moment to answer your Soul's yearning,
to know your Self and the Truth of Reality more deeply than ever before,
then you are welcome and encouraged to apply to join me
on a Transformational Intensive Retreat in the Shmashan
and let your Spiritual Destiny finally unfold...
JOYA MAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!
